-paying more of my child support
-paying down any number of my debts....
-spending more time looking for an overpriced apt intown
-emailing more people for tattoo appointments
-sweating the united states pres elections and who sucks as a person more
-calling any number of friends whom sadly, i only text or email .
-calling the doctor about being a 30 somthin skater boy who is now a broken bag o bones.
but instead? i am sitting here looking back from my computer chair,at my beautiful children sleeping,with sticky faces and dirty feet, after a long day in the sun swimming and enjoying ice cream,
just being kids ,doing what kids do.
not even knowing what an electric bill or a deadline is...........i used to know what that bliss felt like, now i get to see it in my children's eyes for a brief moment every single day for the last 4.5 years....that magic dream you and i lost years ago ,
like a barnacle that needs to be scraped off my hull..a scar has formed on my brain .
my children have been my saving grace.angels in this hell.